MARRIAGE AFTER ONE YEAR || WHAT WE’VE LEARNT SO FAR

Marriage after one year

Marriage after one year has been a journey and an experience. Before getting married, we both had distinct ideas of what marriage would be and it’s fair to say

that our union has shown us otherwise. So we sat down to evaluate, look back and reflect on our journey so far, even though it’s been only 12 months, there has been a lot of lessons learnt during this period.

So the first year of marriage has been sweet and at the same time not too sweet. It has been a period of unlearning and relearning in the aspect of character building, as individuals and as a couple.

The fact that we’re two separate individuals, who were raised differently and both had our ideas and opinion of how things should be, didn’t really help in some areas in our marriage. This period has been a period of adjustment and accommodating each other’s unique characters. We’ve both grown a lot during this period and we couldn’t have asked for anything other than what we’ve experienced.

PS: I asked my amazing man to share what the first year has been like also for him. Here’s what he had to say…

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✳ THE HUBBY’S VERSION

So all of you already know my awesome wife but you probably don’t know much about me, well here goes… I am the guy who landed the smoking hot girl that owns this blog, which naturally makes me the luckiest guy ever!!! I’m also a business consultant, or what some call a business growth expert.

The first year of our marriage was practically a roller coaster for me. There were a lot of happy moments, followed by sad and angry moments and then back to happy again… I had to learn what it really means to share one’s life with another. You can imagine it all you want and prepare as much as you can but you never truly appreciate how difficult it is to merge your life with that of another until you’re in that position. I think the most important thing that I’ve learned this past year is SELFLESSNESS and the importance of having a STRONG PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. It makes everything simpler and keeps your focus on making your spouse happy and serving God.

I’ve come to realise that those are the two things that can keep you going in a marriage.

Generally, I am so happy that we eventually got married, we had hoped and prayed for years and it finally happened, so I can’t believe we are actually having our first anniversary! I love this girl, Jennifer Peters so much and I’m happy to be sharing my life with her.

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✳ 7 THINGS WE’VE BOTH LEARNT
Our relationship & marriage has taught us a lot, but here are a few of them we want to share with you guys;

CREATE THE PERFECT ENVIRONMENT FOR COMMUNICATION
We all desire to speak our minds without the fear of judgement or criticism and without holding back and just being ourselves. Creating an environment where the conversation is organic and natural is essential.

HAVE AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
As individuals, we prefer to be praised a lot rather than hearing a lot of criticism from our spouse all the time. Majority of the time, we unconsciously internalize our gratitude and vocalize our criticism which shouldn’t be so. You have to learn to vocalize what you love about that person and internalize your criticism but not to the point you feel like exploding, rather to the point where you’ve created “the right environment for communication”.

LEARN NOT TO TAKE THINGS TOO SERIOUSLY
Every relationship is a journey worth enjoying so having a mindset where you don’t take things too seriously would help you enjoy every aspect of this journey. Learn to laugh(at each other and at yourself), enjoy the bad times and find things even in the negative just to laugh over it. Be able to read between the lines and not take everything word for word as what it is, try to understand what they are communicating because there’s an underlining tone to every kind of conversation.

♦ LEARN TO FORGIVE FAST
The emphasis here is on “Fast” because Forgiving is one thing and then there’s also Forgiving Fast. Your spouse is someone you spend your day with, sleep on the same bed with and live in the same house with, so having a misunderstanding that is prolonged will not only lead to more issues but will also make the environment uncomfortable for both parties. If visiting the issue a few hours or minutes after it happened will fix the problem then it’s essential you take that approach instead of handling things in the heat of the moment. This will enable you to forgive faster.

FIND COMMON INTEREST AND SUPPORT EACH OTHER
In building a happy relationship, you have to find a common interest or even take up an interest of your spouse even though it’s really not your thing. It creates an atmosphere of harmony.

CREATE OUR INDIVIDUAL HAPPINESS
You’re not the source to each other’s happiness “Be happy individually”. You should be able to generate happiness within yourself. Be content with yourself and find completion with God. When you constantly expect your spouse to complete you, you set yourself up for disappointments.

MAKE GOD A PRIORITY IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Issues are definitely going to come up from time to time in a marriage, but one thing that will always keep you grounded is your relationship with God as a couple. If you develop the habit of praying and Studying the Bible together and do it even when things aren’t great, it helps you remember what’s most important in life, “SERVING GOD”. Doing that together will help you get over your issues faster.
It will also help the two of you stay on the same page more often than not because you both have that one goal.

Did you enjoy reading this post? Was it helpful in any way? Did/Do you have your own expectation of what marriage should be like? I’d really love to hear your thoughts on this in the comment box below. And if you have any specific questions for us, feel free to drop it or send a DM via Instagram and we’d be glad to answer them😊

Till next time

Loads of Love ❤❤

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8 Comments

  1. I enjoyed reading this, i love how you mentioned we should be happy singly and not expect that all our happiness to spring from our man, God would really bring saneness in this roller coaster of being with someone for life, thanks for sharing of yourself and your experiences,its really encouraging and yes like your husband said nothing anyone ever says would actually prepare you for the real experience of living with someone as man and wife, thanks once again for sharing,looking forward to more.

  2. All great point – marriage is definitely not a walk at the park it’s very challenging from my experience. But putting God first and always forgiving is very important but forgetting is harder. Thank for this post tho

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